A Confession to you.

A Confession to you,
I thought you had always known
But with my squabbling tongue
And my ever wandering self
I have not been a whole person
to be able to give of myself.
To me a gaze has meant a thousand things
The comfort I feel and the moments of grace.
My own life, full of baggage and strife
I felt as though you would not even think twice.
But I can rest easy when I take my slumber.
Without fear of acknowledgment I tell you
I have felt more love with one simple glance
than in a thousand sonnets from other men.
For the connection I seek is no where with them.
And when the time has come,
When I am whole
I would hope to find someone like you,
to reach me through my inner soul.

Today I am excited to be able to go and spend the day with my brother, I have not been able to really spend as much time with him as I would like. My brother and I were always the closest in my family and though he is 10 years my senior we had a bond that seemed as though we were twins.As we grew, though, and he got his career and such it was harder and harder to keep the closeness that we once had.
Growing up I looked up to him and was like a father to me, yet a friend. In the crazy world we lived in I trusted him more than anyone, and though he seldom let me down, when he did I would become devastated. Then I would have to remember that he wasn't a super hero, he was just a human, even though I always put him on a pedestal. I was always afraid that when he left we would never get back what we once had, but as the years went on, though I wasn't able to run down and wake him up in the morning and annoy him as I once did. We still kept in touch and I always knew that if I really needed him, he would come.
There is always some comfort in a loved one moving away in knowing the simple fact that if you needed them, they would be there. In the relationships I have had with people, I always hoped that they would know that I would do that for them. My brother and I, though we were close, we joked around all the time and would say things to the other just to get a rise. Though we rarely hugged or said "I love you", it was something that we just knew.When he moved away, though, I wished we had been able to tell him that I missed him without feeling like a "girly girl". You see, I was a sort of "Tom Boy",and saying something like "I miss you" would be embarrassing for me. So when he left, I teased him one last time and waved goodbye.
That was a few years ago, and after a point when I really needed him and he came through for me, I was finally able to tell him how important he was to me.So now, as we spend the next few days together, I am really glad that we still Can tease each other but are still able to say "I Love you".